Vancouver! Day Two - Whistler

I'm going to preface this post: (a) I have never skied, (b) I will never ski, (c) I have never been to a ski resort and (d) I haven't seen snow in almost 10 years.

Amy and I took advantage of the beautiful weather and made the two hour drive from Vancouver to Whistler, home to most of the 2010 Winter Olympics alpine events. The drive up was uber lovely - a narrow highway winding up the mountain, sheer cliffs on one side, the north-reaching tongues of Horsehoe Bay on the other - the weather was perfect, the Zip Car, er, zippy.

Amy pointed out that I would be the only person on the mountain carrying a purple patent leather purse. She would be right.

The first amazing site to greet me was the main gondola/lift chair epicenter, swarming with hundreds, nay, thousands of nylon-clad, beanie-doffed skiers shuffling from place to place with laser-like focus. I was wearing a purple wool coat and biker boots, and feeling a little bit like the big purple elephant on the slopes.

Amy and I got a siteseers gondola pass and proceeded up, up, up the mountain where I got to witness the frolicking hordes in their snow activities of choice from a bird's eye perch. Gee, don't they look like they're having fun? Still not gonna try it. The town is like a Disney-inspired homage to Swiss Alps, as seen through a rosy, circa 1990 haze. Cute, especially from above. But somehow, unreal.

The views from the top of Whistler Mountain were stupendous and even better was the Peak 2 Peak gondola ride between Whistler to Blackcomb mountains. There are no towers in the ravine, just a free-hanging cable supporting these massive red gondolas. It was like a sabotage scene from a James Bond movie just waiting to happen. Unfortunately, Daniel Craig was NOT in our gondola, just a drunk middle-aged Irishman who was hosting all of his 20-something employees from Ontario for a ski weekend. He had a six-pack of Molson's in the pockets of his jacket which he proceeded to pass around, right before propositiong me with "a cosy, sexy place to stay for the night." Then he serenated Amy and I with that charming old favorite "The Unicorn." Oh, so tempting old man. So not even for a split-second tempting...

We had a lovely on Blackcomb mountain then took the 45 minute ride back down the mountain (in a gondola, again, no skis.) It was a great day. I saw snow. It was cold. Old man wanted to have sex with me. Good times.

O Canada, we stand on guard for thee.

Tomorrow? Spa time and sketch comedy. Yeah, cuz they go together so well.