Does anyone here speak Nerdese?

There's a language gap on the Internet and I'm afraid I'm not bilingual.

Don't get me wrong. I love nerds. And geeks. Hell, between my time with the Jack Kirby worshippers on Minoriteam (before I got the job I would have told you he was played center field for the Twins in the 80's) and the hardcore gamers on Code Monkeys (we had a Playstation, Nintendo NES and two full-size cabinets loaded with the greatest game hits of the 80's and 90's all in office for "research") I should be fully functional in Nerd-speak. But my role on both productions was supervisory as opposed to participatory, and much to my discredit, I refused to learn the lingo.

So isn't it ironic that a few months on Twitter have converted me?

It's not easy, by the way, navigating the InterWebz, where everything is made of "win" or "fail" and served with a side of "awesomesauce," where the acronyms are flying and lolcatz is like a local dialect. Honestly, I'd have been more at ease if you'd parachuted me into the middle of the rainforest with nothing but a switchblade and some twine. But I've managed.

It took me awhile to learn that when I saw "teh" and pluralizing "s's" replaced with "z's" (to say nothing of everyone always wanting cheeseburgers) that they weren't typos but intentional errors - an homage to our friends the lolcatz. And then there's the shorthand: sure, BRB, IMHO, LOL and OMG are self-explanatory, but WTF are FTW, ESAD, ICYMI, DIAF, NSFW and TMS? And don't even get me started on twooshes, twudes, twarfs, twerks, twhaters and twugs.

I've learned <3 does not refer to integers lesser than three and that "RT" is not designating a route. I've learned that Whoot is good and Dweeting is bad, and that Tweed ain't just your grandma's favorite suit set.

I feel so...accomplished now. No wait, that's not right! Lemme try again.

I am made of awesomesauce win juice. Gretchen FTW!