tv/ipod: "cheat on me" by the cribs
I tweeted about this yesterday and figured I'd better explain myself before people start running off to WebMD searching for symptoms of FSD. Let me help you.
Faux Suckitude Doldrums -noun \foʊ sʌkˌɪˌtud ˈdoʊldrəmz\
A morbid state of self-imposed dejection whereby the writer/artist/musician has convinced his- or herself that they suck beyond all hope of redemption and the best and most effective course of action is to crawl under the bed and hide there until the zombie apocalypse of the coming of the Anitchrist, whichever occurs first.
Example: - "I'm thinking that I should just burn this manuscript and then cut off my hands so I can never inflict my pathetic excuse for fiction on the planet ever again." - "Dude, put the machete down. You're just suffering from FSD. Have some chocolate."
You'd think I'd have learned to deal with FSD during all those years I spent singing opera, right? Yeah, not so much. When I was singing, there were always a weekly voice lesson and a weekly coaching where someone would tell you exactly how you sucked, why you sucked, and what you were going to do to fix the suckage. And then when you finally did it right, there'd be someone there screaming "Yes! Yes, that is exactly how you float that high D!" Your brain would register their excitment - the praise and the joy in doing something friggin right for a change - and you'd feel a sense of accomplishment. You didn't suck as badly now as you did 10 minutes ago. Awesome.
In writing, not so much.
I know, I know. Put your big girl Bridget Jones panties on Gretch and man up! But you know as well as I do that you have ALL been there before. So don't you wag that finger at me, missy!
Right, back to the topic. If we all suffer from FSD at some point in our careers, my question to you, oh mystical Interwebz, is how do you get over it?
Sorry, I have no cure. :(
ReplyDeleteI just wait for it to pass or look back at nice comments on my blog. Failing that, I sulk. Luckily my FSD episodes don't seem to last long...yet.
This may all change if I fail to get an agent.
My cure comes in a bottle of Jamesons.
ReplyDeleteOh no, wait. It doesn't. But after a time, I no longer care.
Seriously, the only thing that works for me is to write through it. Eventually, I write something I like, my mood swings the other way, and I become convinced I'm an unappreciated literary genius. Writing makes me bipolar. :-(
Sometimes I transfer my creative energies to something else for a while. Knitting will do it, because I'm not very good at it. After I put together a lumpy, uneven scarf, I can honestly look at my writing and say, "Well, at least I'm not totally hopeless."
ReplyDeleteBecause there's a vague possibility I might be able to earn some money and praise for my writing. For my knitting, no way in hell.
The FSD totally sucks and I have been there too. To get out of it, it really helps when I read a book I don't think is very good and then I'm like, "Damn. I can do better than that." And off I go!
ReplyDelete* Chocolate also helps
** Liquor too. :)
I just got over a really nasty bout of this. And Gretchen, you really helped. The secret is to have a bunch of writer friends who are willing to pull you out of the muck when you get stuck. Like Charlie's Angels, the A Team, or the Dirty Dozen, each member of this elite group should have his or her own special skill. These talents could include such things as making you laugh, giving good critique, administering chocolate and tequila without exceeding the recommended dosage (except that in emergencies you MUST exceed the R.D., and it takes a good amount of training and experience to know when that is justified), and generally just giving you a good SLAP in the face and telling you not to give up.
ReplyDeleteDidn't every one of the Dirty Dozen except Charles Bronson die?
ReplyDeleteJust sayin'. :D
Oooh, FSD. Yes, it's a common disease among writers.
ReplyDeleteWhat to do?
Lean on your other writerly friends who are currently not suffering from FSD. They'll tell you how amazing you are.
At least that works for me. :)
LOL! Okay, but nobody on the A Team, or in Charlie's Angels, EVER died!
ReplyDeleteActually, I think you're thinking of the Great Escape, not the Dirty Dozen. In that one, yes, Chuck Bronson was the only one who lived.
Besides... are you really saying you wouldn't give your life to pull a fellow writer out of the FSD? I think, like Han Solo, you style yourself as the kind of person who wouldn't, but then when the shit hits the Facebook, you so totally WOULD.
NO LARA YOU ARE WRONG! Dirty Dozen - only Lee Marvin and Chuck make it out of the Chateau alive (John Cassavetes gets shot in the truck as they are driving away.) In the Great Escape, Chuck, Danny the Brit and James Colburn doing a weird Austrailian accent are the only ones how make it out, but James Garner and Steve McQueen are not shot and get sent back to the prison camp.
ReplyDeletePersonally, I picture myself more like Clint Eastwood in Kelly's Heroes. Out for myself but I need all you all's help in getting there.
I'm kidding! I'm kidding! (mostly)
Ha, this reminds me of that day that I made a causal Chuck Knoblauch reference and you were on that shite like a duck on a Junebug!
ReplyDeleteOkay, *goes to Netflix to rent the Dirty Dozen cause I haven't seen it in years, quickly watches it* ...so you're right. But still.
I always related most to the Chuck Bronson character in the Great Escape (what with my claustrophobia and my small, close-set eyes) and that's probably why I remember him being the only one who makes it out.
But with the inclusion of more cardigans in my wardrobe, I think I could sort of pull an Isabella Rosellini in White Knights. But that's not exactly a member of an elite team (an elite team of tap-dancers?), so maybe I'll stick with Chuck B.
Lara, I heart you.
ReplyDeleteBest thing to do is rant on your blog--seriously! You'll get the best pump up from your writer friends.
ReplyDeleteSee? Don't you feel better??
sf
sf, I do. ; 0
ReplyDeletemartinis or chocolate - maybe even a chocolate martini if im feeling crazy! ;)
ReplyDelete