Well, because there are just some days where you need to vent about something. And I think its time I gave myself an official Blog Series with which to do so.
"But, it's just so negative, man? Why can't you embrace the love?"
Cram it, hippie. My blog, my rules.
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Anyway, moving on from my little lapse into schizophrenia, the topic of today's Hump Day Hatred rant? Grocery Stores.
Any of you who follow me on Twitter might recall my meltdown earlier this week when, after spending 6+ hours in the car driving back to LA from San Francisco, I had to wait in a checkout line at the local Ralph's for almost 30 minutes. 30 minutes, people! It was like Soviet Russia in there. Only 3 checkers were working, plus the do-it-yourself lines which apparently take an advanced post-grad degree in electrical engineering to figure out. Its the end of a holiday weekend! Isn't it logical to suspect that perhaps, just perhaps there might be a deluge of people trying to stock up after being out of town? You really can't predict that and maybe add some extra staff?
Oh, and don't even get me started on the patrons in the store that day. This shouldn't even need to be said, but the following people should be BANNED from doing any sort of shopping on holidays, weekends and weekdays after 5pm:
old people
stay at home moms/dads
the unemployed
YOU can shop at 10am on Thursday morning when I am stuck behind a desk. So you don't get the luxury of shopping during my off hours. Stay at home. Order a pizza.
And to finish off my rant: why the fuck is it so difficult to keep shopping carts in some sort of basic working order? They don't need to do that much - just go in a straight line when I push them. Is that too much to ask? Is it? Do I need to hire Bubbles to sit outside the Brentwood Ralph's repairing carts?
Cuz I will, Brentwood patrons. That's not a threat, that's a promise.
hahahahahaha!! Add to that list:
ReplyDeletePeople who have the special offer paper and argue with the checkout person because they're not getting the one cent off their cheerios, as advertised;
The people who write novels instead of checks;
People with two carts and a coupon for every item in those two carts;
I couldn't agree more about the self checkouts, PEOPLE, YOU DON"T NEED A DEGREE TO WORK IT OUT!!!!
Dude, I think you just banned me from ever grocery shopping on the weekend, but you know what? I'm sort of ok with that. We live in close proximity to a retirement community which makes for some of the most frustrating grocery shopping EVER. I'm pretty sure I've secured my spot in hell after running down a couple of old folks to beat them in line.
ReplyDeleteI only shop at Costco. And I go on the weekday during the day, but not for the benefit of others. It's so I don't have to wait in line like I do on the weekends.
ReplyDeleteI feel much the same about slow drivers: the 5+ miles under the speed limit crowd really ought to be banned from the roads until morning and evening rush hours are over. They can't possibly be any more comfortable than I am when my grill is making little indentations in their back bumper every few seconds.
ReplyDeleteI've taken to loudly humming The Song That Never Ends when the person in front of me at the grocery store wastes time chatting, or bitching, or arguing over a 5 cent difference on the total.
I'm glad you are all responsible grocery store shoppers. Gives me hope for humanity in general. ;)
ReplyDelete... queuing in H&M for 20 minutes only to find out they don't take American Express. Huge International Conglomerate, I thought better of you than that.
ReplyDeleteI give you hugs for your rant.