Dear Teen Me Project

mood: nostalgic
pandora/ipod: "in between days" by the cure

I'm having a flashback.

It's a chilly Northern California morning and I'm trekking from the bus stop with a 50-pound burgundy Eddie Bauer backpack hitched over one shoulder. Mills High School - later immortalized by Frank Portman in King Dork - stretches before me in the distance. I've got a steaming travel mug of International Foods Cafe Vienna in one hand and I'm using the other to hold down the hem of my pleated black skirt against the northern breeze. My tights - alternating green, black and white stripes. My shoes - black, hook-and-eye closing combat boots. My sweater - fuzzy and blue and purchased at Goodwill. My Walkman - blasting The Cure's Disintegration album.

I looked badass. Seriously.

And I felt badass. Most of the time. Er, some of the time. Er, fine. I was totally overcompensating for the deeply-rooted fear that I was really a poser, loser douchebag and I was deathly afraid that someone would call me on that fact at any moment.

Ah, high school.


I was a loud, extroverted, outgoing, annoying teenager. Ask any of my friends. A lot of that was a mask, hiding fears of being inadequate and unloved. And don't even get me started on the attention-seeking behavior. Dear GOD how any of my friends didn't smack me one upside the head most days is beyond me. I seemed confident. Inside, I was anything but.

When I got an invitation from Emily Morse and Miranda Kenneally to be a part of their DEAR TEEN ME project, I jumped at the opportunity. Honestly, there's so much I wish I could tell the 16 year old Gretchen. So. Much. I couldn't pass it up.

I love this idea. There are some amazing, AMAZING authors participating in the project - Carrie Jones, Adam Selzer, Charles Benoit, Mari Mancusi, Melissa de la Cruz, Nancy Holder, Hannah Moskowitz, Varian Johnson, Tara Kelly, Julie Cross, Heidi R. Kling - and I'm honored and humbled to be included. Posts will start TOMORROW, so I suggest you check it out.

My letter to pain-in-the-ass teen self? Look for it on Friday.

Oh, and one of those Guess Who photos on the site right now? Yeah...me. Can you find it?