Apparently, working 70 hours a week for 9 weeks straight without a single day off was starting to catch up with me. Go fig.
However, times have changed. As of Sunday, August 9th, Cirque Berzerk's BENEATH closed its Summer '09 Los Angeles run. We had a weekend of sold out shows and a party to end all parties Sunday night where I may or may not have hauled my drunk ass up on the trampoline and almost died.
There's no photographic evidence, so I'm sticking with innocence here.
My feelings are mixed about the end of our run. On the one hand, I desperately need to get some writing done. I found it almost impossible to balance those two artistic endeavors while maintaining my day job. It was as if my brain could only focus on so many things, and the WIP got lost in the shuffle. A tad. Okay, a lot.
On the other hand, I already feel as if a large piece of me is missing. It's sort of like leaving camp at the end of the summer: the people you've grown accustomed to seeing every day are suddenly absent; the rhythms of the week, disrupted. And you wonder how, exactly, you're going to go back to the life you had before when you feel like so much of you has changed.
There was a time when I stopped singing and performing all together. Opera was not the place for me, whether from lack of talent or lack of commitment I'd be loathe to admit even to myself. And when I left that world, I think I convinced myself that I wouldn't miss it, that I'd be fine without rehearsals and call times, without make-up, wigs, costumes, follow spots and great, soul-wracking walls of applause that envelope you like a fuzzy blanket on a frosty night.
But I was wrong.
I don't know where the singing road takes me now, but I know it's a road I can't detour from easily. And I hope beyond hope that it's a journey I can continue to take with my circus family. And so Berzerkers, I blow a kiss and bid you "Adieu." Adieu, only. It's definitely not good-bye.
I can't imagine what a wrench this is for you, having such a magical experience come to an end. I'm so glad that you had a great time and I only wish I could've seen it.
ReplyDeleteIt seems like only yesterday that you were auditioning, I can't believe how quickly those 9 weeks have passed and I've only been experiencing it vicariously!
You have a phenomenal voice, I hope you get to sing more.
Sue
xxx
Wonderfully said, Gretchen. The journey (corny as it sounds) continues. kj
ReplyDeleteI've enjoyed following the show vicariously. Hope you guys regroup and I get to see it live someday.
ReplyDeleteThat's a lot of working. I'm glad you enjoy it! Good luck getting back into writing.
ReplyDeleteI can relate a little in musical theater, back when I did it in highschool, and the production was over. But how I'd LOVE to see you live one day. It looks magical.
ReplyDeleteSad that it is over, but what a wonderful experience!! And I think it's totally awesome that you may or may not have gotten up on the trampoline... :)
ReplyDeleteonward and upward
ReplyDelete